I miss you

I miss you
I haven’t seen you in so long
And yet
Your hold on me is as strong as if you never left
I don’t cry as often
I don’t try to prove myself as much
Aren’t you proud of me?
I go about my daily life
As if you don’t still have all that I am
But you know that I have always worn a façade
Don’t let them see you cry, right?
Don’t let them know you are weak
Stand back up
Keep on walking
Because even if my heart and soul are dead
My body didn’t die
Like it should have
It’s the cruel irony of it
The world ends
But it doesn’t
It keeps on going with
Or without you
And what good would I be
To just lay here
Like I want
That would just hurt others
And that is the last thing I should do
Besides
We don’t always get what we want
No matter how much we need it
People die every day
Children are left hungry and unloved in the streets
And here I am
Self pitting a broken heart
I have all the opportunity in the world
And yet
That’s not what I really want
It’s funny how things work
The grass is always greener, right?
I’ve been selfish for too long
I’ve forgotten the feelings and needs of others
And that’s what got me here
Not just with you, though mostly and especially
But everyone I ever cared about
Or cared about me
Out of every thing in my life
That is what I regret
Putting myself before others
Well I can’t change the past
Only the future
So I can’t dwell on it
I can only learn from it
Cherish the good
Forget the bad
But keep the lessons learned
So the past is behind us
And the future before us
My hand has always been out for you to take, always will be
And even when you’ve refused to take it, I’ve dragged you by the collar
I’m not letting you go
I promised

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I have too many wonderful memories to hold on to
There are too many that can come
And even if we forget them
Even if they never come
They existed
They happened
We loved
We lost
But that was just one battle
This war isn’t over
And there are so many more we can win
I don’t want to fight alone
I don’t want to drag you into a battle that is not your own cause
Maybe our path together ends here
Maybe it goes on side by side for the rest of our lives
What ever happens
What ever they throw
I always loved you
I always will
I miss you