Showing posts with label thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thought. Show all posts

Friday, January 14, 2011

Gates of Happiness are Open

"For you see, each day I love you moreToday more than yesterday and less than tomorrow."~ Rosemonde Gerard

“You rose into my life like a promised sunrise, brightening my days with the light in your eyes. I've never been so strong. Now I'm where I belong.”~ Maya Angelou

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."~ Mignon McLaughlin

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally







s

 

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

heart and head

Creating a joint venture between head and heart puts a power pack behind your goals. Getting your head in sync with your heart and harnessing the power of coherence gives you the energy efficiency you need to achieve changes that haven't been possible before. The head can notice what things need to change, but the heart provides the power and direction to actually bring about the changes....

 

 
We wait all these years to find someone who understands us, I thought, someone who accepts us as we are, someone with a wizard's power to melt stone to sunlight, who can bring us happiness in spite of trials, who can face our dragons in the night, who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just yesterday I found that magical Someone is the face we see in the mirror: It's us and our homemade masks.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

quote

"The more you judge, the less you love. Anonymous Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important." Lisa Hoffman

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Total Success is Determined by Your Thoughts, Beliefs and Actions

Many people say they want success, yet they are not willing to do what it takes to achieve their desired outcome. I am a believer in Total Success. Total Success requires more then a successful business and a great income. Total Success is about having a balanced life, giving back and enjoying what you do.

In order to achieve Total Success there are specific thoughts and beliefs you must have. There are also certain actions you must take.

Success in anything goes beyond the obvious. Although you need a certain amount of skill and knowledge, your successes will come from the way you think, feel and act, coupled with intense emotion and a steadfast belief in “self.”

To achieve Total Success you must set goals. Setting goals cannot be a hit and miss process. It has to be systematic, deliberate and the cornerstone of every other aspect of what you do in order to create a successful, abundant, happy, and balanced life. Goals are about gaining direction, clarity and vision.

Even though the concept of goal setting took a while for me to grasp, once I did, the difference in my ability to achieve the outcomes I desired was amazing. Initially I dabbled in the process. Over time, as with virtually every other component of my success, it became very systemized.

My success is directly proportionate to my willingness to set goals, write down my goals, review my goals and stay committed to my goals.

If you want what you say you do, you have to set goals. It’s not that difficult and the results will amaze you. Get a blank book. On each page write down your goals in a specific category and date it.

Not only should you write your goals down, you must review them morning and night. Write your primary goals on a 3 x 5 card to make the review time more targeted. Doing this will keep you on target with what you want.

When you focus on your goals by writing them down and reviewing them on a regular basis amazing events will begin to happen. You will be able to manifest what you want a lot quicker.

However, you must do more than write them down and read them. You have to be committed to the outcome. This means that if you want to get and stay healthy, you will have to make choices around what you eat and how often you exercise.

It is the same with your finances. If you want to increase your wealth you must make specific choices on how you spend and invest your money.

Think of every area of your life you want improvement in. Decide what you want and what you are willing to do to get it. Write your goals down, read them morning and night and take the appropriate actions to achieve your desired outcome.

With dedication and commitment you will be well on your way to Total Success.

Dr. Joe

Saturday, January 16, 2010

50 Ways To Make Yourself Miserable

What Not To Do/be

So here goes the 50 ways to make yourself miserable.
50 Ways To Make Yourself Miserable
1.Compare yourself frequently with others.
2.Belittle yourself.
3.Don’t believe in dreams. You believe dreams will only happen when you are sleeping.
4.Say yes to everybody and everything.
5.Work in a job you hate.
6.Complain about everything.
7.Complain about everything to your friends.
8.Suspicious of everything.
9.Counting your troubles.
10.Harbor negative thoughts.
11.Trying to please everyone and let everyone walk all over you.
12.Constantly thinking about the past.
13.Constantly thinking about the future.
14.Focusing on what you lack.
15.Focusing on what you don’t want.
16.Need others to validate you constantly.
17.Think of everything that can possibly go wrong in your life.

18.Get jealous easily.
19.Envious of others and is never grateful of what you have instead.
20.Imitating others due to lack of self confidence.
21.Lacking self esteem and cause others to dislike you.
22.Think the world revolves around you.
23.Judging others.
24.Absorbing all the bad news in the papers daily.
25.Eating junk food.
26.Exercising is your worst nightmare.
27.Believe that things can only go your way.
28.Do not accept others opinion.
29.Lack of sleep.
30.Lack of goals.
31.Worry consistently about the sky is falling.
32.Plan but never take action.
33.Fail to plan.
34.Feel that people around you are all jerks.
35.Thinking there is no purpose in living.
36.Being the “If Man”. If my father is the president, then I will be successful. If ____ then I will be _____. (fill in the blanks)
37.Lottery is the only way to success.
38.Trying to control everything that you can’t control.
39.Expect to be appreciated.
40.Expect others to be grateful to you.
41.Never forget about criticism.
42.Hate people around you to be successful.
43.Shirk responsibilities.
44.Receive and never give.
45.Do things that are easy.
46.Overworking.
47.Never forgive.
48.Never give your best effort in things you do.
49.Perfectionism.
50.Choosing to be miserable.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

heart attack

I want to write few words from one of my prev. post: ".......Is kaainat main kub saare sawalon ke jawab milte hain. Koi formula nahi chalta. Kisi mantiq ki chul theek nahi bethti. Hum saari zindagi jaanne ki tag-o-do main lage rehte hain magar saara kuch is dil ke maanne se hai. Agar dil ko qarar aa jaaye to koi maujiza naqabile yaqeen nahi rehta. Kuch bhi namumkin nahi rehta. Falsafa chale na chale magar jo baat, jo cheez is dil ki dharkan ki ley(tune) se murtaish (vibrate) ho jaaye - wahi haq, wahi sach ! Sala ye kambakht dil !!.."



Pain was so severe that night, savage heart
wanted to confront each vein
diaphoresed from each sweat gland

(my heart was)
Like far at your patio
each petal washed in my despondent blood
appear morose with grace of moonlite glow

Like in my deserted body
tents of all aching threads openly
start giving signs serially (of)
farewell of (my) passions' flock

And when appeared somewhere under smoldering lites of remembrance
one last moment of your affection
pain was so intense that (heart) wanted to pass it on

We did want to stay though, heart did not desire so

Friday, January 08, 2010

Sadqa

Agar bachpun main hame koi chot lug jaati to dadi kehtiN: "Chalo achha huwa, bari musibat ka saqda huwa".

Kiya ye sach hoga ke zindagi main darasl koi chota nuqsan is baat ka istaa'ra hota hai ke hamara koi bara nuqsan hone wala tha magar qudrat ne hamari bachat ker di!

Thursday, January 07, 2010

zindagi har roz class lyti ha








bara dushwar hota ha, zara sa Faisla karna, K Zindagi ki kahani ko, Biyan-o-bazabnko, kaha sa yad rakhna ha, kaha se bhol jana ha, kisy kitna batana ha, ki say kitna chupana ha, kaha hans hans k rona ha, kaha ro ro k hansna ha, kaha awaz daini ha, kaha khamosh rehna ha, kaha rasta badalna ha, kaha sy lot ana ha. bara dushwar hota ha, zara sa faisla karna.

بڑا دشوار ہوتا ہے

ذرا سا فیصلہ کرنا

کہ جیون کی کہانی کو

بیانِ بے زبانی کو

کہاں سے یاد رکھنا ہے

کہاں سے بھول جانا ہے

اِسے کتنا بتانا ہے

اِسے کتنا چھپانا ہے

کہاں رو رو کے ہنسنا ہے

کہاں ہنس ہنس کے رونا ہے

کہاں آواز دینی ہے

کہاں خاموش رہنا ہے

کہاں رَستہ بدلنا ہے

کہاں سے لوَٹ آنا ہے

(سلیم کوثر)

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Definition of Care

Charge, oversight, or management, implying responsibility for safety and prosperity.

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Attention or heed; caution; regard; heedfulness; watchfulness; as, take care; have a care.

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The object of watchful attention or anxiety.

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To be anxious or solicitous; to be concerned; to have regard or interest; -- sometimes followed by an objective of measure.


Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home.
Mother Teresa






care. what is the meanig of it?
is the meaning of care is same in all religions/cities/peoples/culture?

i think yes. this is same. but some people thinks that its different for different kind of people.

agar koi kisi ki help kary bagher kahy, ya help mangy koi kisi sa kabhi b, aur usay help mily. to us ki care ki us shakhs na jis na help ki. behaviour aur routine agar same rahy hamesha to wo care ho ge.maska nahi. agar badal jaey to maska.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Perceiving Reality

www.perceivingreality.com/



He who knows not and knows not he knows not, He is a fool - Shun him.
He who knows not and knows he knows not, He is simple - Teach him.
He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep - Awaken him.
He who knows and knows that he knows, He is wise - Follow him.


MAY BE THIS WORLD IS ANOTHER PLANET'S HELL.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

zaroorat

"Duniya main is se ziyada achhi koi baat nahi ke kisi ko aap ki zaroorat nahi. Kiunke kisi ki zaroorat insaan pe bara bojh daal deti hai - aur insaan ko bara kamzor ker deti hai...... Ye to achha hai ke ab tumhe meri zaroorat nahi"

Zindagi main kuch log aap ko thori der ke liye milte hain magar ta-hayat ghere naqoosh chor jaate hain.

Meri zindagi main bohut hi aese kum mauqe (occasions) aaye honge jub main apni bisat se ziyada roya. aur aj ka din un me sa aik ha.
agay najany aur kitny din aysy ayey gy. jin ka me sochti hu k mujh ma samna karny ki himmat nahi....

Baqol Hazrat Ali: "Badnaseeb hai woh shaks jise dost na mile, aur us se bhi ziyada badnaseeb hai woh shaks jo achhe doston ko kho de" !

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Habib Jalib's Mainay Uss Say Yeh Kaha







میں نے اس سے یہ کہا



یہ جو دس کروڑ ہیں



جہل کا نچوڑ ہیں



ان کی فکر سو گئی



ہر امید کی کرن



ظلمتوں میں کھو گئی



یہ خبر درست ہے



ان کی موت ہوگئی



بے شعور لوگ ہیں



زندگی کا روگ ہیں



اور تیرے پاس ہے



ان کے درد کی دوا





حبیب جالب کی یہ نظم کچھ حسبِ موقع لگی ہے۔

Saturday, December 26, 2009

sach ye ha k

"Suna hai - mard ke dil ka raasta uske pet(stomach) se ho ker jata hai"
"Nahi - Mard ke dil ka raasta uski Ma se ho ker jaata hai"

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Jawab-e-Shikwah by Allama Iqbal

dil ko cho jany wala shikwa aur jawab e shikwa. agar dil sa suno to ankhen pur num ho jaen. jasy me rony lagi thi ye sun kar.
i wish i could be a gud muslim. as ALLAH want me.
















TUM EK GORAKH DHANDHA HO

Kabhi yehan tumhein dhoondha kabhi wahan puhancha
Tumhari Deed Ki Khatir Kahan Kahan puhancha
Ghareeb mit gaye, Pamaal ho gaye lekin
Kissi talak na tera aaj tak nishan puhancha
Ho bhi nahin aur...
Ho bhi nahin aur har jaa ho
Tum Ek Gorakh dhandha ho...




Nit naye naqsh banatay ho mita dete ho
Jaane kis jurm-e-tamana ki saza dete ho
Kabhi kankar ko bana dete ho heeray ki kani
Kabhi heeron ko bhi mitti mein mila dete ho
Jindagi kitnay hi murdon ko ata ki jiss ne
Woh maseeha bhi saleebon pe saja dete ho
Khwahish-e-deed jo kar baithe sar-e-toor koi
Toor hi bark-e-tajalli se jala dete ho
Naar-e-namrood mein dalwatay hu khud apna khaleel
Khud hi phir naar ko gulzaar bana dete ho
Chahe kinaan mein phainko kabhi mahe in aan
Noor yakuub ki aankhon ka bujha dete ho
Becho yusuf ko kabhi misr ke baazaaron mein
Akhir-e-kaar shah-e-misr bana dete ho
Jazb-o-masti ki jo manzil pe puhanchta hai koi
Baith kar dil mein an-al-haq ki sada dete ho
Khud hi lagwatay ho phir kufr ke fatway uss par
Khud hi mansoor ko sooli pe charha dete ho
Apni hasti bhi woh ik roz ganwa baithta hai
Apne darshan ki lagan jis ko laga dete ho
Koi raanjha jo kabhi khoj mein nilklay tumkar
Tum ussay jhang ke bele mein rula deta ho
Justajoo le ke tumhari jo chale kais koi
Uss ko majnoon kissi laila ka bana dete ho
Jot sassi ke agar mann mein tumhari jaagay
Tum usse tapte huay thal mein jala dete ho
Sohni gar tum ko mahiwal tasawwur kar le
Uss ko biphri hui lehron mein baha dete ho
Khud jo chaaho to sar-e-arsh bula kar mehboob
Ek hi raat mein mairaaj kara dete ho


Aap hi apna parda ho
Aap hi apna pardaa ho
Tum ek gorakh dhandha ho

Jo kehta hoon maana, tumhein lagta hai bura sa
Phir bhi hai mujhe tum se baharhaal gila sa
Chup chaap rahe dekthe tum Arsh-e-Bareen par
Tapte huay karbal mein Muhammad ka nawasa
Kiss tarhe pilata tha lahoo apna wafa ko
Khud teen dinon se wo agarche tha piyasa
Dushman to bahar taur thay dushman magar afsos
Tum ne bhi faraham na kiya paani zara sa
Har zulm ki taufeeq hai zalim ki wirasat
Mazloom ke hissay mein tassali na dilasa
Kal taaj saja dekha tha jiss shakhs ke sar par
Hai aaj ussi shakhs ke hathon mein hikasa
Yeh kya hai agar poochoon to kehte ho jawaban
Iss raaz se ho sakta nahin koi shanasa



Hairat ki ek duniya ho
Hairat ki ek duniya ho
Tum ek gorakh dhandha ho

Har ek jaa pe ho lekin pata nahin maaloom
Tumhara naam suna hai nishaan nahin maaloom

Dil se arman jo nikal jaaye to jugnoon ho jaye
Aur aankhon mein simat aaye to aansoo ho jaye
Japeya huu ka jo be huu kare huu mein kho kar
Uss ko sultaniyan mil jayen wo ba huu jo jaye
Baal beeka na kissi ka ho churri ke neeche
Halk-e-asghar mein kabhi teer tarazoo ho jaye



Kiss kadar be-niyaz ho tum bhi
Daastaan-e-daraaz ho tum bhi



Aah-e-Tehkeek mein har gam pe uljhan dekhoon
Wohi haalat-o-khayalat mein an ban dekhoon
Ban ke reh jaata hoon tasweer pareshani ki
Ghaur se jab bhi kabhi duniya ka darpan dekhoon
Ek hi khaak pe fitrat ke tazaadat itnay
Kitnay hisson mein bata ek hi aangan dekhoon
Kahin zehmat ki sulagti hui patjhar ka samaan
Kahin rehmat ke baraste huay sawan dekhoon
Kahin phunkaarte darya, kahin khamosh pahaar
Kahin jangal, kahin sehra, kahin gulshan dekhoon
Khun rulata hai yeh takseem ka andaaz mujhe
Koi dhanwaan yehan par koi nirdhan dekhoon
Din ke haathon mein faqat ek sulagta sooraj
Raat ki maang sitaron se muzzayyan dekhoon
Kahin murjhaaye huay phool hain sacchai ke
Aur kahin jhoot ke kaanton pe bhi joban dekhoon
Shams ki kaal kahin khichti nazar aati hai
Kahin sarmad ki uttarti hui gardan dekhoon
Raat kya shai hai saweera kya hai
Yeh ujala yeh andhera kya hai
Mein bhi nayib hun tumhara akhir
Kyon yeh kehte ho ke tera kya hai


Dekhne wala tujhe kya dekhta
Tu ne har har samt se parda kiya

Masjid Mandir...
Masjid, Mandir, Yeh Maikhane
Koi yeh maane, koi woh maane
Masjid, Mandir, Yeh Maikhane
Koi yeh maane, koi woh maane
Sab tere hain jaana aashanay
Koi yeh maane, koi woh maane
Ek honay ka tere kaayil hai
Inkaar pe koi maayil hai
Asleeyat lekin tu jaane
Koi Yeh maanay koi woh maane
Ek khalk mein shamil karta hai
Ek sab se akela rehta hai
Hain dono teray mastaanay
Koi yeh maanay koi woh maane
sab hain jab aashiq tumhare naam ke
kyon yeh jhagre hain raheem-o-raam ke




Dehr mein tu, Haram mein tu
Dehr mein tu, Haram mein tu
Arsh pe tu, jameen pe tu
Dehr mein tu, Haram mein tu
Arsh pe tu, jameen pe tu
Jiss ki puhanch jahan talak
Uss ke liye wahin pe tu



Har ek rang mein yakta ho
Tum ek gorakh dhandha ho

Markaz-e-Justajoo, Alam-e-rang-o-boo
Dam badam jalwagar tu hi tu chaar soo
Hoo ke mahol mein, kuch nahin fi-la-hoo
Tum buhat dil ruba, Tum buhat khubaroo
Aarsh ki azmatein, Farsh ki abroo
Tum ho konain ka, hasil-e-arzoo
Aankh ne kar liya aansoo-on se wazoo
Ab to kar do ata deed ka ek sudoo
Aao parde se tum aankh ke rubaroo
Chund lamhe milan, do ghari guftagoo
Naaz jabta phiray, jabaja koo-ba-koo
Wahda-hoo Wahda-hoo
La-shareek-a-La-hoo
Allah hoo Allah hoo
Allah hoo Allah hoo
Allah hoo Allah hoo Allah hoo
Allah hoo Allah hoo Allah hoo

Shikwah by Allama Iqbal





Thursday, November 12, 2009

Einstein’s Secret to Amazing Problem Solving (and 10 Specific Ways You Can Use It)

Einstein is quoted as having said that if he had one hour to save the world he would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem and only five minutes finding the solution.

This quote does illustrate an important point: before jumping right into solving a problem, we should step back and invest time and effort to improve our understanding of it. Here are 10 strategies you can use to see problems from many different perspectives and master what is the most important step in problem solving: clearly defining the problem in the first place!

The Problem Is To Know What the Problem Is
The definition of the problem will be the focal point of all your problem-solving efforts. As such, it makes sense to devote as much attention and dedication to problem definition as possible. What usually happens is that as soon as we have a problem to work on we’re so eager to get to solutions that we neglect spending any time refining it.

What most of us don’t realize — and what supposedly Einstein might have been alluding to — is that the quality of the solutions we come up with will be in direct proportion to the quality of the description of the problem we’re trying to solve. Not only will your solutions be more abundant and of higher quality, but they’ll be achieved much, much more easily. Most importantly, you’ll have the confidence to be tackling a worthwhile problem.

Problem Definition Tools and Strategies
The good news is that getting different perspectives and angles in order to clearly define a problem is a skill that can be learned and developed. As such, there are many strategies you can use to perfect it. Here are the 10 most effective ones I know.

1. Rephrase the Problem
When a Toyota executive asked employees to brainstorm “ways to increase their productivity”, all he got back were blank stares. When he rephrased his request as “ways to make their jobs easier”, he could barely keep up with the amount of suggestions.

Words carry strong implicit meaning and, as such, play a major role in how we perceive a problem. In the example above, ‘be productive’ might seem like a sacrifice you’re doing for the company, while ‘make your job easier’ may be more like something you’re doing for your own benefit, but from which the company also benefits. In the end, the problem is still the same, but the feelings — and the points of view — associated with each of them are vastly different.

Play freely with the problem statement, rewording it several times. For a methodic approach, take single words and substitute variations. ‘Increase sales’? Try replacing ‘increase’ with ‘attract’, ‘develop’, ‘extend’, ‘repeat’ and see how your perception of the problem changes. A rich vocabulary plays an important role here, so you may want to use a thesaurus or develop your vocabulary.

2. Expose and Challenge Assumptions
Every problem — no matter how apparently simple it may be — comes with a long list of assumptions attached. Many of these assumptions may be inaccurate and could make your problem statement inadequate or even misguided.

The first step to get rid of bad assumptions is to make them explicit. Write a list and expose as many assumptions as you can — especially those that may seem the most obvious and ‘untouchable’.

That, in itself, brings more clarity to the problem at hand. But go further and test each assumption for validity: think in ways that they might not be valid and their consequences. What you will find may surprise you: that many of those bad assumptions are self-imposed — with just a bit of scrutiny you are able to safely drop them.

For example, suppose you’re about to enter the restaurant business. One of your assumptions might be ‘restaurants have a menu’. While such an assumption may seem true at first, try challenging it and maybe you’ll find some very interesting business models (such as one restaurant in which customers bring dish ideas for the chef to cook, for example).

3. Chunk Up
Each problem is a small piece of a greater problem. In the same way that you can explore a problem laterally — such as by playing with words or challenging assumptions — you can also explore it at different “altitudes”.

If you feel you’re overwhelmed with details or looking at a problem too narrowly, look at it from a more general perspective. In order to make your problem more general, ask questions such as: “What’s this a part of?”, “What’s this an example of?” or “What’s the intention behind this?”.

For a detailed explanation of how this principle works, check the article Boost Your Brainstorm Effectiveness with the Why Habit.

Another approach that helps a lot in getting a more general view of a problem is replacing words in the problem statement with hypernyms. Hypernyms are words that have a broader meaning than the given word. (For example, a hypernym of ‘car’ is ‘vehicle’). A great, free tool for finding hypernyms for a given word is WordNet (just search for a word and click on the ‘S:’ label before the word definitions).

4. Chunk Down
If each problem is part of a greater problem, it also means that each problem is composed of many smaller problems. It turns out that decomposing a problem in many smaller problems — each of them more specific than the original — can also provide greater insights about it.

‘Chunking the problem down’ (making it more specific) is especially useful if you find the problem overwhelming or daunting.

Some of the typical questions you can ask to make a problem more specific are: “What are parts of this?” or “What are examples of this?”.

Just as in ‘chunking up’, word substitution can also come to great use here. The class of words that are useful here are hyponyms: words that are stricter in meaning than the given one. (E.g. two hyponyms of ‘car’ are ‘minivan’ and ‘limousine’). WordNet can also help you finding hyponyms.

5. Find Multiple Perspectives
Before rushing to solve a problem, always make sure you look at it from different perspectives. Looking at it with different eyes is a great way to have instant insight on new, overlooked directions.

For example, if you own a business and are trying to ‘increase sales’, try to view this problem from the point of view of, say, a customer. For example, from the customer’s viewpoint, this may be a matter of adding features to your product that one would be willing to pay more for.

Rewrite your problem statement many times, each time using one of these different perspectives. How would your competition see this problem? Your employees? Your mom?

Also, imagine how people in various roles would frame the problem. How would a politician see it? A college professor? A nun? Try to find the differences and similarities on how the different roles would deal with your problem.

6. Use Effective Language Constructs
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula for properly crafting the perfect problem statement, but there are some language constructs that always help making it more effective:

Assume a myriad of solutions. An excellent way to start a problem statement is: “In what ways might I…”. This expression is much superior to “How can I…” as it hints that there’s a multitude of solutions, and not just one — or maybe none. As simple as this sounds, the feeling of expectancy helps your brain find solutions.
Make it positive. Negative sentences require a lot more cognitive power to process and may slow you down — or even derail your train of thought. Positive statements also help you find the real goal behind the problem and, as such, are much more motivating.
For example: instead of finding ways to ‘quit smoking’, you may find that ‘increase your energy’, ‘live longer’ and others are much more worthwhile goals.
Frame your problem in the form of a question. Our brain loves questions. If the question is powerful and engaging, our brains will do everything within their reach to answer it. We just can’t help it: Our brains will start working on the problem immediately and keep working in the background, even when we’re not aware of it.
If you’re still stuck, consider using the following formula for phrasing your problem statement:
“In what ways (action) (object) (qualifier) (end result)?”
Example: In what ways might I package (action) my book (object) more attractively (qualifier) so people will buy more of it (end result)?
7. Make It Engaging
In addition to using effective language constructs, it’s important to come up with a problem statement that truly excites you so you’re in the best frame of mind for creatively tackling the problem. If the problem looks too dull for you, invest the time adding vigor to it while still keeping it genuine. Make it enticing. Your brain will thank (and reward) you later.

One thing is to ‘increase sales’ (boring), another one is ‘wow your customers’. One thing is ‘to create a personal development blog’, another completely different is to ‘empower readers to live fully’.

8. Reverse the Problem
One trick that usually helps when you’re stuck with a problem is turning it on its head.

If you want to win, find out what would make you lose. If you are struggling finding ways to ‘increase sales’, find ways to decrease them instead. Then, all you need to do is reverse your answers. ‘Make more sales calls’ may seem an evident way of increasing sales, but sometimes we only see these ‘obvious’ answers when we look at the problem from an opposite direction.

This seemingly convoluted method may not seem intuitive at first, but turning a problem on its head can uncover rather obvious solutions to the original problem.

9. Gather Facts
Investigate causes and circumstances of the problem. Probe details about it — such as its origins and causes. Especially if you have a problem that’s too vague, investigating facts is usually more productive than trying to solve it right away.

If, for example, the problem stated by your spouse is “You never listen to me”, the solution is not obvious. However, if the statement is “You don’t make enough eye contact when I’m talking to you,” then the solution is obvious and you can skip brainstorming altogether. (You’ll still need to work on the implementation, though!)

Ask yourself questions about the problem. What is not known about it? Can you draw a diagram of the problem? What are the problem boundaries? Be curious. Ask questions and gather facts. It is said that a well-defined problem is halfway to being solved: I would add that a perfectly-defined problem is not a problem anymore.

10. Problem-Solve Your Problem Statement
I know I risk getting into an infinite loop here, but as you may have noticed, getting the right perspective of a problem is, well, a problem in itself. As such, feel free to use any creative thinking technique you know to help. There are plenty to choose from:

You may want to give yourself an Idea Quota of problem statements. Or write a List of 100 problems to solve. SCAMPER your problem definition. These are just some of dozen techniques you can try.

Of course, how much effort you invest in defining the problem in contrast to how much effort you invest in solving your actual problem is a hard balance to achieve, though one which is attainable with practice.

Personally, I don’t think that 55 minutes of defining a problem versus 5 minutes acting on it is usually a good proportion. The point is that we must be aware of how important problem defining is and correct our tendency to spend too little time on it.

In fact, when you start paying more attention to how you define your problems, you’ll probably find that it is usually much harder than solving them. But you’ll also find that the payoff is well worth the effort.

References:

Einstein’s Portrait: Yousuf Karsh.
Einstein’s Quote: Cracking Creativity.

Friday, November 06, 2009

you...

Act now. For now is all you have.
Action is the food and drink which will nourish my success.
Action will destroy your procrastination.
All men must stumble often to reach the truth.
All nature is a circle of moods and you are a part of nature and so, like
the tides, your moods will rise; your moods will fall.
All your problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great
opportunities in disguise.
Always let your reach exceed your grasp.
Always raise your goals as soon as they are attained.
Always strive to make the next hour better than this one.
Always take another step. If that is to no avail take another, and yet
another. One step at a time is not too difficult.
Any act with practice becomes easy.
Apply all of your efforts to become the highest mountain of all and strain
your potential until it cries for mercy.
Avoid with fury the killers of time.
Bad habits must be destroyed and new furrows prepared for good seed.
Bathe me in good habits that the bad ones may drown.
Be happy.
Be hungry for success.
Be prepared to control whatever personality awakes in you each day.
Become master of yourself.
Begin now to accent your differences.
Beginning today, you can increase your accomplishments of yesterday by a
hundredfold.
Bury doubt under faith.
Cherish each hour of this day for it can never return.
Chuckle and your burdens will be lightened.
Concentrate your energy on the challenge of the moment.
Confidence will take away your fear.
Consider each obstacle as a mere detour to your goal and a challenge to your
profession.
Consider each obstacle as a mere detour to your goal.
Count your blessings today.
Cultivate the habit of laughter.
Destroy procrastination with action.
Dismember fear with confidence.
Do not allow yesterday's success to lull you into today's complacency, for
this is the great foundation of failure.
Do not be satisfied with yesterday's accomplishments or indulge in
self-praise for deeds which are too small to even acknowledge.
Do not commit the terrible crime of aiming too low.
Do not dwell on the past.
Do not judge a man on one meeting.
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is
contagious.
Do not make vain attempts to imitate others.
Do not permit the petty happenings of today to disturb you.
Do not think of yesterday or tomorrow.
Do not waste a moment mourning yesterday's misfortunes, yesterday's defeats,
or yesterday's aches of the heart.
Drink every minute to its fill; savor its taste and give thanks.
Drive a bad habit from your life and replace it with one which will bring
you closer to success.
Each day will be triumphant only when your smiles bring forth smiles from
others.
Each failure to sell will increase your chances for success at your next
attempt.
Each frown you meet only prepares you for the smile to come.
Each minute of today will be more fruitful than the hours of yesterday.
Your last must be your best.
Each misfortune you encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow's good
luck.
Each nay I hear will bring me closer to the sound of yea.
Each rebuff is an opportunity to move forward; turn away from them, avoid
them and you throw away your future.
Each struggle, each defeat sharpens your skills and strengthens your courage
and your endurance.
Enjoy today's happiness today.
Failure does not course through your veins as you were not delivered into
this world in defeat.
Failure no longer will be my payment for struggle.
Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong
enough.
For now you know one of the greatest principles of success; if you persist
long enough you will win.
Forget the happenings of the day that is gone, whether they were good or
bad, and greet the new sun with confidence that this will be the best day of
your life.
Fulfill today's duties today.
Good habits are the key to all success.
Grant me compassion for weaknesses in others.
Grasp each minute of this day with both hands and fondle it with love for
its value is beyond price.
Green grass grows where dry desert ends.
Greet the sunrise with cries of joy.
Happiness is the wine that sharpens the taste of the meal.
Have confidence that this will be the best day of your life.
I can accomplish far more than I have, and I will, for why would the miracle
which produced me end with my birth? Why can I not extend that miracle to
my deeds of today?
I consider poverty to be the mark of a lack of ability or a lack of
ambition.
I have a choice and I will not let my life be fed to swine nor will I let it
be ground under the rocks of failure and despair to be broken open and
devoured by the will of others.
I have not time to hate, only time to love.
I need not wait for I have the power to choose my own destiny.
I shall live this day as if it is my last. And if it is not, I shall fall
to my knees and give thanks.
I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles
for they are my challenge.
I will be successful.
I will command, and I will obey mine own command.
I will do the work that a failure will not do.
I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers.
I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.
I will form good habits and become their slave.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
I will greet this day with love, and I will succeed.
I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends.
I will laugh at evil and it will die untasted.
I will look on all things with love, and I will be born again.
I will love all mankind.
I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even
though they may be hidden.
I will love myself.
I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me!
I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness; I will love the ugly
for their souls of peace.
I will love the failures for they can teach me.
I will love the kings for they are but human; I will love the meek for they
are divine.
I will love the rich for they are yet lonely; I will love the poor for they
are so many.
I will love the young for the faith they hold; I will love the old for the
wisdom they share.
I will persist until I succeed.
I will persist and I will win.
I will say it is done before the failure says it is too late.
I will talk when the failure remains silent.
I will think naught of my profession when I am in my home for this will
dampen my love.
I will toil and I will endure.
I will walk where the failure fears to walk.
I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart.
I will work when the failure seeks rest.
If all things shall pass, why should I be of concern for today ?
If I delay, success will become betrothed to another and lost to me forever.
If I have no other qualities I can succeed with love alone.
If I persist, if I continue to try, if I continue to charge forward, I will
succeed.
If I stumble I will rise, and my falls will not concern me.
If you bring joy, enthusiasm, brightness, and laughter to your customers,
they will react with joy, enthusiasm, brightness, and laughter and your
weather will produce a harvest of sales and a granary of gold for you.
If you feel depressed - sing!
If you feel fear, plunge ahead.
If you feel incompetent, remember past successes.
If you feel insignificant, remember your goals.
If you feel poverty, think of wealth to come.
If you feel sad - laugh.
If you must be a slave to habit, then be a slave to good habits.
If you persist long enough, you will win.
If you waste today, you destroy the last page of your life.
Ignore the obstacles at your feet and keep your eyes on the goals above your
head.
In setting my goals, I will consider my best performance of the past and
multiply it a hundredfold.
Increase your knowledge of mankind.
It pays to be persistent.
Just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, love is also my shield
to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger.
Just as nature made no provision for your body to tolerate pain neither has
it made any provision for your life to suffer failure.
Keep work and family separate.
Laugh and your life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long
life.
Laugh at goodness and it will thrive and abound.
Laugh at the world.
Laugh at your failures and they will vanish in clouds of new dreams.
Laugh at your successes and they will shrink to their true value.
Laugh at yourself for man is most comical when he takes himself too
seriously.
Leave your problems at home.
Lift up a friend in need.
Lift your arms with thanks for this priceless gift of a new day.
Live this day as if it is your last. Seal up the container of life so that
not one drop spills itself upon the sand.
Live this day as if it is your last.
Live today as if it is your last chance to prove your love and your
greatness.
Look upon each obstacle as a lesson to be learned.
Look upon misfortune as opportunity in disguise.
Love the darkness because it shows you the stars.
Love will melt all hearts like the sun whose rays soften the coldest clay.
Love yourself!
Make every hour count and trade each minute only for something of value.
Make love your greatest weapon.
Make the hours ahead priceless!
Make this day the best day of your life.
Many face each obstacle in their path with fear and doubt and consider them
as enemies, when in truth, these obstructions are friends and helpers.
Many succumb to despair and fail without realizing that they already possess
all the tools needed to acquire great wealth.
Master your emotions so that each day will be productive.
Master your moods through positive action and when you master your moods you
will control your destiny.
Meditation and prayer feeds the soul.
My desire to meet the world will overcome every fear I once knew, and I will
be happier than I ever believed it possible to be in this world of strife
and sorrow.
Nature knows not defeat.
Never allow yourself to become so important, so wise, so dignified, so
powerful, that you forget how to laugh at yourself.
Never be satisfied with yesterday's accomplishments.
Never feel shame for trying and failing for he who has never failed is he
who has never tried.
Never will I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I will share
it and it will grow and warm the earth.
Never will I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I
will uplift it with the knowledge and wisdom of the ages.
Never will I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I will
feed it with meditation and prayer.
Never will I labor to be happy; rather will I remain too busy to be sad.
Never will I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather I will cherish my
body with cleanliness and moderation.
Never will I scratch for excuses to gossip.
No longer shall my vocabulary include such words as cannot, unable,
impossible, and quit.
No longer will I fail to call again tomorrow on he who meets me with hate
today.
Obstacles are necessary for success.
Only a habit can subdue another habit.
Only action determines my value in the market place.
Only with laughter and happiness can I enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Only with laughter and happiness can you truly become a success.
People will always respond positively to joy and enthusiasm.
Persist and develop your skills as the mariner develops his, by learning to
ride out the wrath of each storm.
Persist with the knowledge that each failure to sell will increase your
chance for success at the next attempt.
Practice the art of patience for nature never acts in haste.
Put your uniqueness on display in the market place.
Rain cleanses the spirit.
Remember that as today's dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow's bloom so
does today's sadness carry the seed of tomorrow's joy.
Remove from your vocabulary such words and phrases as quit, cannot, unable,
impossible, out of the question, improbable, failure, unworkable, hopeless,
and retreat; for they are the words of fools.
Rewards are great if one succeeds but the rewards are great only because so
few succeed.
Seek constantly to improve your manners and graces, for they are the sugar
to which all are attracted.
Set goals for the day, the week, the month, the year, and your life.
Should you concern yourself over events which you may never witness? Should
you torment yourself with problems that may never come to pass? No!
Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday, think of it no more.
Sleep in peace for you have not failed.
Small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.
Smile and your digestion will improve.
So long as I can laugh, never will I be poor.
So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist.
Strive for happiness and peace of mind.
Strive for happiness, to be loved and to love, and most important, to
acquire peace of mind and serenity.
Strive to become better than you are.
Strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.
Success comes to those willing to work a little bit harder than the rest.
Success will not wait.
Suffer me to know that all things shall pass.
The height of my goals will not hold me in awe though I may stumble often
before they are reached.
The only difference between those who have failed and those who have
succeeded lies in their habits.
The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning;
and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to
reach my goal.
The problems of the market place will be left in the market place.
The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.
There are good qualities in everyone.
There are lessons to be learned from failures.
There is no room in the market place for your family, nor is there room in
your home for the market.
There is not time to hate, only time to love.
This day is all you have and these hours are now your eternity. Greet this
sunrise with cries of joy as a prisoner who is reprieved from death.
This is the place.
This is the time.
This too shall pass.
Time teaches all things to him who lives forever, but I have not the luxury
of eternity.
To conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my
heart will vanish.
To enjoy success I must have happiness, and laughter will be the maiden who
serves me.
To multiply your value you must multiply your actions.
To surpass the deeds of others is unimportant; to surpass your own deeds is
all.
Today I begin a new life.
Today I shed my old skin which hath too long suffered the bruises of failure
and the wounds of mediocrity.
Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.
Today I will surpass every action which I performed yesterday.
Today you will be master of your emotions.
Today, I will act.
Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy.
Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday.
True wealth is of the heart, not of the purse.
Try again, make one more attempt to close with victory, and if that fails,
make another.
Try, and try, and try again.
Understand and recognize the moods of others. Make allowances for their
anger and irritation for they know not the secret of controlling their
minds.
Unless you act you will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless
nights.
Unless you put your skills, mind, heart, and body to good use, you will
stagnate, rot, and die.
Victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats.
We must have the night to appreciate the day.
Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who
forces his actions to control his thoughts.
Welcome happiness for it enlarges your heart; endure sadness for it opens
your soul.
What can take place before this sun sets which will not seem insignificant
in the river of centuries?
What is success other than a state of mind?
When an act becomes easy through constant repetition, it becomes a pleasure
to perform, and if it is a pleasure to perform, it is man's nature to
perform it often.
When I am burdened with wealth I shall tell myself that this too shall pass.
When I am moved to praise, I will shout from the roofs.
When I am puffed with success I shall warn myself that this too shall pass.
When I am strangled in poverty I shall tell myself that this too shall pass.
When I am tempted to criticize, I will bite on my tongue.
When others cease their struggle, then mine will begin, and my harvest will
be full.
When you are heavy with heartache console yourself that this too shall
pass.
Where dry desert ends, green grass grows.
Where there are idle mouths I will listen not; where there are idle hands I
will linger not; where there are idle bodies I will visit not.
Will my concern for this day not seem foolish ten years hence?
With each victory the next struggle becomes less difficult.
With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have
built round their hearts, and in its place, I will build bridges so that my
love may enter their souls.
Within you burns a flame which has been passed from generations uncounted,
and its heat is a constant irritation to your spirit to become better than
you are, and you will.
Yesterday's joy will become today's sadness; yet today's sadness will grow
into tomorrow's joy.
Yesterday's success will not lull me into today's complacency.
Yesterday is buried forever, think of it no more.
You are a unique creature.
You are here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not
to shrink to a grain of sand.
You are nature's greatest miracle.
You are rare, and there is value in all rarity; therefore, you are valuable.
You can accomplish far more than you have, and you will.
You can overcome seemingly impossible obstacles with ambition.
You have been given eyes to see and a mind to think.
You have but one life and life is naught but a measurement of time.
You have unlimited potential.
You may encounter failure at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind
the next bend in the road. You will never know how close success lies
unless you turn the corner.
You must fail often to succeed only once.
You must have objectives before your life will crystallize.
You must nurture your body and mind in order to fulfill your dreams.
You only have time to love.
You were conceived in love and brought forth with a purpose.
You will become great.
You won't know how close success is unless you turn the corner.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Why being grumpy can be good for you

It may take more muscles to frown than to smile - but being grumpy is better for you.
A new study into behavioural health has discovered people who are always crabbit are less gullible and better at decision making.
Psychology expert Professor Joseph Forgas revealed his startling results in this month's Australian Medical Journal.
His findings show even the most negative emotions, such as sadness and grumpiness, can prove more valuable than happiness and other positive feelings.
But if being like Victor Meldrew can be better for you when it comes to making decisions, what can other emotions or behaviour do for you?

GRUMPINESS
According to Prof Forgas, grumpy people make better eye witnesses, are harder to fool and will make better judgment calls than cheerier people.
He believes that a negative mood "triggers more attentive, careful thinking and we pay greater attention to the external world".

SADNESS
Another part of Prof Forgas' study compared the benefits of being sad to being happy. He found that a sad person can cope with demanding situations better than a happy person because of the way mood affects the brain's information processing systems.
One of the many tests Prof Forgas used to prove his theories involved asking happy and sad people to judge the merits of urban myths spouted in movies, and found that the sad ones were less likely to be conned.

SWEARING
It might not be big, clever, politically correct or polite but, according to scientists, unleashing a four-letter word outburst can be very good for your health.
A study at Keele University found that swearing helps us deal with pain and that potty-mouthed people can endure pain for 50 per cent longer than non-swearers.

FLIRTING
A cheeky nod or wink can be good for your health - it's official. Studies have shown an inoffensive flirt, even if you are not looking to follow it up, can be a great way to build confidence and reduce stress.
And as long as it is not intended or perceived as sexual harassment, studies have also shown it can improve office morale and camaraderie in stressful times.

GIGGLES
Laughter can be the best medicine and since 1995 a form of laughter yoga has been taught around the world to encourage the giggles. It helps with heart health and is also effective in pain management, stress reduction and fighting depression.

GRINNING
A big cheesy grin may be quite off-putting to some but the widest kind of smile is also good for you, with some incredible benefits.
These include a drop in blood pressure, a boosted immune system and a reduction in stress. It also helps produce endorphins, which relax the body, as well as the happy hormone serotonin.

CRYING
Letting go and having a good blub can be one of the best things for you. Tears include a powerful hormone, leucine enkephalin, which regulates pain and other hormones which regulate stress. So tears could be a physiological way for the body to reduce stress.

SHOUTING
A good scream is not only a good workout for the lungs but it is also good for the soul. Primal Scream therapy, popularised in the 1970s and enjoyed by people such as John Lennon, uses shouting to connect to subconscious stresses and issues and get them out.

LAZINESS
People who get up early and busy themselves all day long are heading for an early grave, says public health expert Professor Peter Axt.
He believes lazing about is the key to a long life and an antidote to professional stress, provided people are otherwise healthy.
He says: "People who would rather take a midday nap instead of playing squash have a better chance of living into old age."

ANNOYING THE NEIGHBOURS
Blasting out loud music is the best way to upset your neighbours but it can boost your brain power.
According to researchers at Manchester University music fans are stimulating part of the inner ear known as the sacculus, which responds to the beat in music.
This gives the brain pleasure and makes us feel good - during the music and afterwards.

FIDGETING
A fidgety work colleague can drive you mad but fidgets are actually keeping themselves slim.
A study in America found that people who constantly tap their fingers or twitch and stretch are using up an extra 350 calories a day.
Endocrinologist James Levine, who led the research, said: "There are huge differences in the amount of fidgeting between people who are lean and those who are obese."

BEING UNTIDY
An unmade bed may appear to be the height of laziness but it could help prevent asthma.
Scientists at Kingston University found house dust mites - which can bring on an asthma attack - cannot survive in the dry exposed conditions found in an unmade bed.


Nov 4 2009 Brian McIver

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Pain Is Unavoidable, Suffering Is Optional

If you’ve never, ever been hurt in your entire life, raise your hand. And leave this blog ASAP, because the following article is not for you. It’s for all the people who got hurt at some point in their lives. And who suffered because of that.

Suffering and pain are tied together in our minds. One is giving birth to the other. They’re like a single, osmotic being. Every time we get hurt, we suffer. And every time we suffer we create more hurt. It’s difficult to even talk about pain and suffering in a detached way, this is how deep they are buried in our subconscious mind. The mere act of reading about pain and suffering is making your brain reconnect with those feelings in this very moment.

Do you remember how you felt last time you experienced pain? What were the exact feelings? Frustration? Sorrow? Despair? Defeat? What were the words you used to describe it? Suffering? Affliction? Trauma? Grief?

Pain is one of the most avoided situations in our life. We run away from pain. We’re trying to escape the pain. To mask it, to hide from it, to cover it in superfluous, temporary indulgences. We can’t stand it. Because we don’t want to suffer.

Why Do We Suffer?
Pain is external. It’s created by things out of our control. We’ve just been hit by something. The same way we get hit by happiness, sometimes. Only this time it hurts.

Suffering is internal. It gets triggered by our own feelings and perceptions of the pain. We’re interpreting the pain in a certain way. Most of the time by resisting it.

Pain is generated by loss. Loss of confidence, loss of affection, loss of hope. Every time you get disappointed, you’re losing a dream. And it hurts. We lose things we were attached to and the main body reacts: I want that part of me back. And we get this signal under the form of pain.

Suffering, on the other part, is the attachment for what we lose. The higher the attachment, the stronger the signal we receive. Pain becomes bigger and bigger.

But, believe it or not, losing parts of ourselves is natural. This is how we grow. By losing parts of ourselves. We lose our childish body and become adults. We lose our ignorance and become knowledgeable. We lose our inhibitions and become free. Every time we lose something, we’re forced to put something in its place. We create something new. We become something new.

Our loss is the trigger for evolution. We replace the tears with something we crafted. This is how we become a new being. Most of the time a better one. Because now we know what it takes to re-create that part of our Universe.

They say you grow stronger through pain than through happiness. And that’s true. You grow faster when you have all that work to do. When you lose all your dreams and hopes, you have to get to work. Fill in the gaps. Make sure life doesn’t flow away through all those holes. Be there. Do things.

I’m not making the apology of pain as the ultimate evolutionary tool. I’m human just like you and I get hurt just like you. What I do try is to lower the suffering. Because suffering is not necessary. Pain, as hurtful as it gets, might be. But suffering is an internal artifact, a self-generated response which I have control over. I may not control pain, but I can control my own reaction to it.

By giving free way to suffering I accept to lose my energy. My whole power is hijacked by suffering. Instead of using it for creating something new on that crack, I crave for what was there before. I use my focus in a desperate attempt to freeze the Universe in the very second before the loss occurred. Like this would be possible…

I Am What I Do
Every time I get hurt, I try to see which part of me is detached. What am I losing? Is the affection of somebody? Is my confidence in somebody? Is something I took for granted but it proved to be as changeable as the whole Universe? Every loss I experience creates some pain. I know I cannot avoid it. But I also know I can create something new in that hurtful cavity of myself.

That pain is the signal I have work to do. If there’s somebody affection I lost, I start to love myself more. If there’s confidence in somebody I lost, I start to trust myself more often. If there’s something I took for granted, like when I’m disappointed by somebody, I start to make and keep new promises. All those tears are signs of unfinished work with myself.

It’s not about the other guys. The outside process of getting hurt is in fact a reflection of what’s going on inside. Blaming external conditions for my pain is just another form of suffering. The real process takes place inside.

Deep down, every pain is a pointer for something we avoided to do for a long time. We’re designed in such a way that we naturally experience growth, and most of the time we grow organically. But sometimes we get so attached that we cannot break up and grow further other than through violent actions. This is when pain occur. When we don’t want to grow anymore. At that point, a violent event blows away that part of our main body which is not necessary anymore. Forcing us to start covering it with something new, and, most important, better.

Most of my pain came in my relationships. I made bad choices. Several times. I got hurt and I’m still getting hurt. It’s nobody else’s fault. In fact, it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just a pointer that I have a lot of work to do in this area. And that work is about myself. It’s about trusting and opening. About accepting rejection, if that’s the case, and creating understanding. It’s about making peace with my own failures and my partner’s failures. About acceptance and freedom.

Desperately trying to tune out the pain by temporary indulgences won’t solve my relationships problem. The cavity will still be there until I start building something new over it.

And I’m building something new over it. I’m not making huge progress, but I’m sticking with it. Every single day.



Source: www.dragosroua.com/33-ways-to-get-and-keep-yourself-motivated